In a way, it was becoming more and more expected. At the same time, Tiger had lived through so many things. As Mom said today, "I always thought he was invincible."
Time and health caught up to him recently. It was becoming harder for him to walk and jump. Those of you that knew Tiger know how much he like to RUN and JUMP. His sight and hearing began to fail in the last year too.
So over the six months or so, he was less like the Tiger we knew.
Still that Tiger was always in there. He could always seem to drum enough energy to play "bally-bally", the game he invented with my Dad. It involved 2 tennis balls because Tiger was too stubborn to give up the one in his mouth and my Dad was too stubborn to teach him how to give up the one in his mouth. Bally was Tiger's life. Like I said, he always found the health and energy to play his favorite game. It was like he could see better, hear better, and run like a 3 year old dog in his prime whenever the tennis balls were being thrown.
Over the last year, Mom and Dad would tell me how he seemed to be aging. Yet, when we'd come over with our dog Kobe, they said it was like he had spring in his step again. I thought maybe just the loneliness of being at home without kids or other animals was dragging him down.
Turns out that wasn't the case.
This past weekend we got a call from Dad saying Tiger's back and legs seemed to really be bothering him. He wouldn't run. He wouldn't jump. He'd had back issues before, but medication and rest always seemed to help. This time, rest didn't help. So Monday night we decided we should take him to the Vet to have it checked out.
I was at work, so Dad took him. He called me at 1pm and the prognosis wasn't good. They muzzled him, as Tiger needed at the Vet due to his outgoing personality and his nose started bleeding profusely. They checked his legs and it seems somehow the nerves in his back and back legs weren't working. So he didn't know his legs weren't working right. The vet seemed concerned about his nose, because it was a simple process of putting on a muzzle that caused the bleeding. His concern was maybe there was a tumor or something else going on.
So we made the decision to let Tiger go to Doggie Heaven. And it was a tough one.
When you get a pet and they bond with you, you never expect that day to come. Even though you know the life span, you expect your pet to live forever. Tiger was 13. His breed typically lives 12-15 years. We figured he had a couple years left.
He was almost invincible, Mom. He took on the UPS truck and walked away. He took on the lawn mower, and walked away. He took on the tumor when he was a puppy, and walked away.
Those of you who have pets probably know what I'm feeling. Pets become a part of your family. Part of you.
Tiger was that for me. When I got Tige, it was kind of a lonely time in my life. He came right in and became my best friend. A few years ago, I was doing some journaling about key moments in my life. Getting Tiger was one of them. Here's what I wrote:
"I saw a phrase one time that said God and dog have the same letters, and they're both man's best friend. So true in my case. December of 1997, I got my best friend Tiger. Ever since my last dog died, I wanted a Jack Russell Terrier. After several years of waiting, I got my JRT."
"I knew I'd name him Tiger from the start. I loved golf and wanted to give a golf name. Tiger Woods was my favorite golfer and the name fit. I drove all the way to Port Austin to get him, and when I saw him I knew he was the one I wanted. His nose was half pink and half black and he had 2 brown spots on his eyes. When I saw him I knew he was feisty as he was dragging his brother around the cage. On the way home, he tried to get out of the box. He was the Tiger I named him."
"Needless to say, we were best friends right off the bat. He slept with me, and we played all the time. He stole the heart of the family. He is the life of the house. He plays when we need to be happy. He cuddles when we need warmth and love. He's the greatest."
The drive from work to the vet was tough, man. You try to tell yourself it's just an animal, but they are part of your life. A 40 minute drive was like watching 13 years of memories go through your mind.
He'd been a part of so many things in my life. There really isn't room in this blog to mention it all. From college graduation, to dating relationships and break-ups, to frisbee, and climbing trees, and taking on UPS trucks and lawn mowers. He approved of my future wife, and she adopted him as her own. Strangely that was important to me when we were dating.
He'd been there through so much but brought so much joy and happiness to us.
So many great memories, unfortunately my last one is the worst one. When I finally got to the Vet, I got to spend a couple minutes alone with him. I wanted so badly to have him put his paws on my chest and look at me, like he did so many times of the last 13 years. I wanted so badly to lay on my back and have him lay on my chest. It always calmed us both down.
But this time I couldn't do that. He couldn't do that. His legs weren't strong enough, his nose was bleeding and he wouldn't calm down. I knew then we made the right decision for him, though it hurt me so bad.
I declined to go back with him and the vet when they "did what they had to do." After seeing what Tiger was going through, I thought it best. But now I think back and wished I would've done it. To be there with him for the one thing he couldn't beat. I'll never know how it went or how much pain he might have felt. I mean, did he cry? Was he looking for me like all the other times when he was scared at the Vet?
My last memory is putting a generic leash on him, taking his own leash and collar off and watching him walk out of the room. I was too numb and broken up at the time to rethink about going back with him. The Vet said it was probably best. But again, I'll never know.
I'm accused of being rational and realistic. I tend to think in practical terms. It's hard to get burned that way. But this time I did. I missed out on one last moment. One last chance to be there and hold him.
I'll miss that Dog.
I try to take something from every situation in life, and what I take today is to play and cuddle whenever you can. Tiger lived for those 2 things. Playing and cuddling. Isn't that the best way to live life?
Play whenever you can. Play with your whole heart even when your body doesn't want to. And cuddle with those who love you and appreciate the love and warmth they provide.
You just never know when that last time to play or cuddle will come. And it hurts to wish you could just one more time.
I miss you Tiger. Goodbye, Old Friend.
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