Our journey and mercy

We’re all on a journey.

My intent on my own journey is to share the things I learn in life, as well as my thoughts and feelings, through my writing. One of the avenues is this blog.

I really feel God telling me right now to dive in. Perhaps He’s always been saying it and I’m finally listening or hearing Him.

I know God has big plans for me. I have always felt that way, but haven’t always lived like I know it. I like comfortable. I like behind the scenes. I like letting others lead. (Though it doesn’t mean I always follow.)

But at the same time I am comfortable in positions of leadership. I am comfortable at the front of the church, and when I look back on my life, I’ve always been there.

Though I’m 34 years old, I almost feel as if I’m just starting my journey. I admit that I’ve leaned on my upbringing and teaching of my parents much more than my own learning through prayer and devotions.

Lately God’s had me tuning into the Christian AM radio stations. Yes, the ones that a lot of us skip over because they’re just talk radio and the sound quality isn’t there. My prayer to God lately has been “Teach me. Show me.”

So he’s led me to those stations. I can get an hour of teaching to and from work now.

It’s funny the battle that starts up in your flesh when the things that used to have your time and attention are replaced with the Word of God. I see old habits trying to creep up. I see old thoughts trying to come back.

Funny thing, I see them disappearing soon. The Word of God always wins.

I caught a good message from Chuck Swindoll this morning. He’s one of my favorite preacher-teachers.

Its part of series he’s calling “A Life Well Lived.”

He used Micah 6:8 as his text. It says He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. (NIV).

The Message puts it this way, “But he's already made it plain how to live, what to do, what God is looking for in men and women. It's quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor, be compassionate and loyal in your love, And don't take yourself too seriously— take God seriously.

And there we have life, as it should be, summed up.

Then Swindoll focused on “showing mercy” today.

We don’t’ really show mercy these days. Somehow this society has become a “this for that” society. One good turn deserves another.

Actually, we’re more of a “one up” society. Whatever someone does to us, we like to respond faster, heavier, harder and hope to cause more pain.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for defending ourselves. But I think we take ourselves too seriously to the point where we respond to simple digs and insults with cutting words of our own.

Swindoll went into the story of Joseph and seeing his brothers in Egypt.

Genesis 45
1 Then Joseph could no longer control himself before all his attendants, and he cried out, "Have everyone leave my presence!" So there was no one with Joseph when he made himself known to his brothers. 2 And he wept so loudly that the Egyptians heard him, and Pharaoh's household heard about it.
3 Joseph said to his brothers, "I am Joseph! Is my father still living?" But his brothers were not able to answer him, because they were terrified at his presence.

4 Then Joseph said to his brothers, "Come close to me." When they had done so, he said, "I am your brother Joseph, the one you sold into Egypt! 5 And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you. 6 For two years now there has been famine in the land, and for the next five years there will not be plowing and reaping. 7 But God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance.

8 "So then, it was not you who sent me here, but God. He made me father to Pharaoh, lord of his entire household and ruler of all Egypt.

Now we all know the story of Joseph. His brothers, jealous of his coat the love he received from their father and his dreams, sold him into slavery. He ended up in prison. He found favor in prison, and eventually made it to the 2nd highest position in Egypt.

And his brothers find him there. Only they don’t know it’s him.

He plays some mind games with them, but finally comes to the point where he can’t contain himself. He tells them who he is.

Now imagine being them. You are in a land where your kid brother is basically top dog. Only Pharaoh's word trumps his. Pharaoh thinks so highly of him that I doubt he’d trump Joseph word unless it threatened Pharaoh.

If you’re the brothers, you flash back to what you said, what you did, and how you lied to your father about Joseph. You probably think, “Well this is it. This is the end. He’ll either kill us, enslave us, or jail us.” You know retribution is coming.

But what does he do?

He said, "I am your brother Joseph, the one you sold into Egypt! Don’t be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you. God sent me ahead of you to preserve you and to save your lives by a great deliverance. So then, it was not you who sent me here, but God.”

He didn’t blame them.

He didn’t lash out.

He showed them mercy.

He told them to relax. They didn’t do anything. God set it up, and God sent him to Egypt for a purpose.

Imagine the relief. But then think about the mercy that was shown.

And now think about how we react to minor inconveniences and hurts.

Is our response one of mercy?

Our typical reaction doesn’t seem appropriate does it?

Post Cruise Funk

I’m kind of in a funk right now.

Things are good. Good job. Beautiful wife. Healthy baby on the way. Things are going good on all fronts.

But I think I’m in Post-Vacation depression.

I last blogged about enjoying everyday as much as I can. I doing well in that area, but have needed to remind myself of the commitment several times. Like on the morning drive when traffic was awful, just because it was raining…………no, let me rephrase, it was sprinkling.

I have caught myself thinking back to the cruise quite often the last 2 weeks. We got off the boat on the 7th, so really our last day was the 6th. Man, I miss that week. The best part about it was the fact that the week on the cruise seemed to take it’s time. Most vacations feel too short, and they are. But often times you blink and vacation is over.

This cruise was different. I don’t know if it was the overall attitude, my age, the company or maybe time really did slow down.

All I know right now is how much I miss it.

As all of us cruisers are sharing our pictures, I miss it even more. I was looking at my in-laws pictures the other day. They took great pictures of the ship, exploring, casual dining and other moments I didn't really think about. I didn’t really do any thing like take pictures of the ship or explore. Now I wish I would have.

I just emailed a coworker who is working in the Miami are these days. I mentioned how I was in the area, and my mind immediately went back to September 29th.

We arrived Saturday morning, met Jeremy and Heather at the airport, took a cab to the hotel, checked in, got lunch at Chili’s at the Bayside Market and tried to plan out the evening . At that point I was on vacation. It didn’t matter what we ordered, or how much it cost. Then a group of us went to South Beach. Like I said a week ago, I had my grumpy moments, but for the most part it was like I was living on cruise control. Pun not intended.

I don’t know if it was thoughts in the back of my head about this being the last vacation for Liza and I as “just the two of us.” I don’t know if it was a more relaxed demeanor I seemed to be in.

All I know right now is that I miss it.

I didn’t work the Monday after we returned home, but I was busy getting oil changes and running errands. Tuesday brought work back into my life, and then a supercharger attached itself to the clock and time is flying again.

I don’t know if it was the build up of 18 months of planning the cruise, only to have it go by in 7 days. It was like a year and a half of pent up excitement.

I remember the week before we left. Emails, phone calls, and voice mails were flying with the stress of last minute details of the cruise, last minute work assignments, last minute packing, and out right giddiness and excitement for the impending cruise of a lifetime.

I remember barely getting any sleep the night before as I was up late packing and cleaning, and then waking up early. I remember carpooling to the airport. The 8 of us were bouncing off the walls. We were tired, but grinning ear to ear as the big cruise was finally here.

The lines at the luggage check in didn’t bother us. The lines to get food didn’t bother us. The early flight didn’t bother us.

We were on our way to Miami.

And a day later we would be getting on the biggest cruise ship in the world.

The day of the cruise was almost perfect. We got up, got a quick breakfast, caught a shuttle to the port and I kid you not, basically walked right onto the ship.

The check in was a breeze. I remember getting our cards and checking out everyone’s card, room number and discovering that we were all together! We were pumped when we all saw the same table number on our sea passes.

When it was time to get on board, oh man! Up the escalator, around the maze and I raced the crew to be the first on board. We took a group picture and then the whirlwind began.

I do remember walking around the ship. I remember trying to look for our rooms, but not being able to get to them yet. From there, I think we went to check on our dining table, and remember the elation of the group when we found our table. We all snapped some pictures of the dining room.

We went over near the karaoke bar. We checked out the ice rink. I took a picture in the Castanza pose.

Somewhere in there we hit the Windjammer café for the first time. The guys all bought our Coke cards, that we’d been our drink break even analysis on for the past several months. We got a big round table and the crew disbanded. I wasn’t going to eat much, but Dave came back with a plate of “Tastes so good” and I got in line. I got the same thing he did, with a side of “mmmm” and a helping of “oh my gosh.” Actually, it was rice and chicken topped off followed by peanut butter cookies.

It’s then that my memory gets a little hazy. As slow as that week seemed to go, it’s all a blur.

I almost wish I could get the week back, really. I wouldn’t pass up the cookies thinking I’d get some later. Because later I was always less hungry due to a big meal or pizza run. Or I figured I had plenty of time for cookies later.

As bad as it is for me, I should’ve used the pop card more.

I wish I would’ve hit the Sprinkles ice cream station more often. Lines should not have been an excuse.

I wish I would’ve stayed out later and woken up earlier. Again, I always said, “Tomorrow. I’ll do it tomorrow.”

I wish I would’ve gone on the Flowrider.

You know, it was a good time and for the most part I wanted to just be with the group. But in a way I wish I would’ve gone off on my own from time to time.

I missed out on a lot. It’s easy to do on a cruise, and there is no way to do everything. But I really do feel like I missed on so much. I didn’t feel that way at the time, and I don’t’ regret how I spent my time. I just would’ve done more.

Because now I’m back in the grind that tends to define our lives. We work. We eat. We sleep. And we try to make room for relaxing. We book up our weekends to the point of there being no such thing as free time.

We’re pulled in so many ways these days. I have a hard time ever saying no.

Again let me say, I have a great life. My life is good.

But it’s just not life on a cruise.

Right now, that’s where I want to be.